So v-day is coming up aka my least favorite holiday.  We don't need a day to remind us to show our significant others that we like them.  Every time I have even had a valentine, I've never real done much for it for one reason or another.  It's on a Sunday this year and I thought that would be a great excuse to not celebrate, but nooooo of course I have no school Monday or Tuesday, so pooof there goes my excuse.  I already got apparently one of my valentines presents because I was there when it came in the mail.  Greg got me a pink zippo lighter that says princess with a crown on it haha.  I haven't gotten him anything.  I'll probably make him dinner & dessert, of course.  I ruin every surprise for every guy, and I totally don't do it intentionally, so I'm sure this will be no different, but maybe my little pharmacist will come up with something good.  I don't even care because he does nice things for me all the time and takes me on dates weekly, it's SO nice for a change

Could you handle living with the last guy you texted?
yeah, but I don't want to

Have you broken a bone?
the same damn toe all the time

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
besides my family? yes, just not recently

Is it possible to be JUST friends with someone you wanna be with?
yes unless deep down they want to be with you then it gets complicated haha

What's your favorite part of school?
it being acceptable to have ocd about something

What's your least favorite part of school?
too much reading this semester

Do you know what it's like to have to move on without wanting to?
not really, deep down you always want to move on and be happy

Do you find trusting people easy?
not at all

Do you make smart decisions?
usually, i try to

Is there anyone you've worked things out with lately?
negative

Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn't?
not really, i've been learning to not use the words could, couldn't, should, or shouldn't, they are unhealthy words

Do you think long distance relationships work?
Yeah, I kind of would prefer it because then I'd have my own time and space...but it depends on the guy and if he's trustworthy and not a party animal

Do you believe that love at first sight exists?
I think love you used to have can resurface at first sight after a long time---agreed with alexa haha

Do you believe in kissing when you're not together yet?
of course, nothing wrong with that

Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
I don't really know which one would be the hardest

Can you read other people's expressions?
Yes and some minds haha

Do you break things when you are mad?
break? no...damage? yes

Do you mind sleeping on the floor?
yes, unless I have my feather bed <3

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?
surely

Would you care if you saw the person you like, kissing someone else?
I'd be pissed that they would do that right in front of me

Could you go a month without cursing?
yeah, as long as I wasn't driving

Who's the last three people to text you?
to text? jeff, jon maio, massoni

Last people you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
jon maio and maybe that other guy clementine? haha idk what his name was or how old he was and he was in my car? weird haha

Is the person you last texted single?
texted? jeff, yes and bbm'd? greg, technically speaking yes.

Which is prettier, a sunrise or a sunset?
sunset

What did you do last night?
bar with my friends and yey jon maio being home then slept over gregs because I clearly couldn't drive home

Do you miss anyone?
of course!

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
nowish I suppose...I try not to like someone a lot

Last person of the opposite sex you gave a hug to?
uhm either jeff or maio

Will you be in a relationship next month?
I don't know

Have you ever had stitches?
no, but I will soon =( damn wisdom tooth

Does anyone know your password besides you?
my xanga one? nope, my facebook? yes

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week?
boyfriend? no        boy? i used to but definitely not by the week

Who are your last two calls from?
from? jon maio and jeff, to? home and maio

What color is your shirt?
purple! only because it's a sleep shirt haha

What time did you wake up this morning, Why?
8 am because someone had to go to work, but then I slept till 1:30 =)

Have you ever lost a close friend?
not lost, just temporarily put on hold?

Where do you wish you were right now?
right where I am except I wish someone wasn't at work

Something you do a lot?
sleeeeeeep

Angry at anyone?
anger is a strong word, maybe annoyed and disappointed

Do you know anyone named Molly?
an american girl doll haha

Do you use hearts like this ----> <3
loves it <3...i have it set in my phone as shortcut ht haha

If you had to choose one: strawberries or grapes?
grapes

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
tough one....fall because of my birthday and all the different clothes you can wear

Are you a mean person?
no, i've learned to keep my opinions to myself

Sonic or Wendy's?
wendys

Are you an alcoholic?
no, I drink once a week, and definitely don't get drunk every time

Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door right now?
well no because I'm not home soooo that would suck

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
pjs

Would you want to have twins?
NO

Do you think if you died, the last person you talked to would even care?
of course!

How many arguments have you had with the last person you talked to?
verbally talked to on the phone would be my mother so tonssss

What would you say if someone told you they were in love with your brother?
well katie is, so I wouldn't be shocked, but if it were someone else I would smack Ty Ty!

Two days from now, this time, where will you be?
on my way to lit

What was the most memorable thing that happened, this summer?
hmmm I had a great summer, too hard to tell...probably the insane amount of sunsets I saw

Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
yes

How many times have you gotten into an argument with the last person you kissed?
zero.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
I have my heart, so right here

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
I have and they have told me

Your last text message, what does it say?
Magical! I'm doing pretty swell, im mad tired and just want to lay and cuddle but i got work at three which blows! how was the rest of yo evening...clearly from jeff haha

Has anyone lied to you today?
i doubt it

When's the last time you wanted to physically hurt someone?
2 days ago...I was pmsing, don't judge

Would you forgive your best friend for telling your biggest secret?
eventually

Do you think money buys happiness?
it can buy you a fabulous therapist, so yes haha

Would you ever get a tattoo with someone's name on it?
neverrrr

Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
also never ew ow ew owwww

IS there someone you dont ever want out of you life ?
yes

What are you currently hearing right now?
the heat turning on

Is it hard for you to get over someone?
it is if you don't have closure, but if you were in a mature, equal relationship, and it's mutual then it's very easy to get over them

What kind of mood are you in today?
lazyyyy and pissed it didn't snow a lot

Are you comfortable with where you are right now?
yes

Have you ever thrown a shoe at someone?
yes, but I prefer slapping with a flip flop, it hurts more....too hard to throw heels and actually hit them with the heel from a distance haha

What was the reason you last cried?
Because I was soooooo sick and miserable

Have you ever started a sentence with "no offence, but?"
of course

How many times has the last person you kissed made you cry?
Well he's the one that got me sick, so indirectly yes once haha

When you're sick or sad, do you want to be alone or do you want someone to be with you?
sick, with someone.  sad, alone or shopping...

If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
there used to be some days where I used to want to, but everything that happens makes who you are today, so I wouldn't

Do you get scared easily?
yes, especially if I'm high

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
maybe greg

Do you wash your hair in the shower?
yeah, occasionally sink if I don't have time to shower

Do you get mad when people smoke around you?
cigs are disgusting and yeah I do if it's a cig

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
jeff

Who was the first person who texted you this morning?
jeff

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
YES more than anything

Where was your default picture take?
my xanga one? boston

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
of course

Have you bought any clothing items in the past week?
I'm going today, but greg just doesn't know he's taking me yet....

How many pillows are on your bed?
12 haha

What is something big and upcoming that you are excited for?
going on vacation

You just walked in on your best friend having sex, what do you do?
they've walked in on me, but I would just shut the door unlike them!

Do you get along with most girls?
ehhh girls tend to not like me?  I tend to just confide in my original crew of girls<3

Whats hurting you?
nothing

Does your phone usually go off in the middle of the night?
on the weekends? yes

Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
I hope so hahaha

What is your current annoyance?
boys boys all types of boys

So I have definitely come to realize that I'm still anti-boyfriend.  For me, I don't need one and there is no need for one.  In my opinion, you have a boyfriend if there is potential for them to become your husband, and at 20 that's not something I have in mind at all.  If I did find someone that I could somehow someway imagine spending the REST of my life with them and onlyyy them (which is an awful big assumption for being so young) I would definitely need time on my own, a lot of time, to make sure that is what I want. 

I've changed so much over the past year and I can't even predict what changes I'm going to go through over the next 6 years.  It is almost impossible for me and someone else to both change the same way over the course of that time.  I guess that's why I've always been not really into having boyfriends. 

It's just not realistic to be with the same person from when you're a teenager to when your 40.  Divorce is not something I'm interested in and I want to be able to experience a lot of things and make sure when I say "I do" that I know for a fact that through all of my trial and error relationships that I have found exactly what I want and the only way to learn that is through experience.  For example, something I recently learned is that it is important to me that the guy comes from a good, strong, stable family because then they have good family values and relationships that they will use when they start their own family.  I've also learned that maturity and intelligence are important and that lying creates mistrust and trust is more important than love because without trust, you have nothing of stability.  If someone isn't motivated they aren't going to work hard for their future and not help you move forward or support you.

I believe in finding people you enjoy spending time with (either exclusively or not) and I believe in no pressure and no stress.  I believe in not settling and I believe in honesty and independence and not losing yourself in someone else.  And the most important thing is for me to be happy with myself and by myself and not needing someone else to keep me happy.  Until I've established myself, my happiness, and my complete independence I don't want to get married and therefore won't want to be in a very serious relationship.

So in conclusion, I do have a wonderful guy that adores me and wants me to be his girlfriend, but what do I say to that?  It's not what I want, especially when I have no idea where I'll be in 2 years, let alone in 6 months.
**Editors Note: I have many friends who have boyfriends/girlfriends and it works for them, and it's what they want and like and is what makes them happy and it is definitely not something I look down upon or see as weak, just right now, it doesn't fit in my lifestyle or mindset, but props to them for pulling it off and making it work...I totally just don't know what to do and I don't know what to tell him the next time he brings this topic up....helpppppp?